hitlervevo:

teenytigress:

DUCK UPDATE: IT HAS IMPRINTED AND THINKS THIS BOY IS IT’S MOMMY. OMG

THE FACT THAT WE ALL KNOW WHAT THIS POST IS ABOUT TALKS ABOUT OUR SOCIAL LIVES

unclefather:

jesuschristvevo:

would you like some cream cheese on your beagle

keep your cream cheese away from my dog

jesussbabymomma:

jesussbabymomma:

is it petsmart or petsmart

thanks

dunwall:

faeiouck:

shady-bacon:

faeiouck:

“all slytherins are evil”

“all gryffindors are good guys”

“ravenclaws are nothing but nerds”

“hufflepuffs don’t do anything”

Name one evil Gryffindor. One.

peTER PETTIGREW YOU LITTLE SHIT DO NOT QUESTION ME

PETER PETTIGREW WAS AN EVIL GRYFFINDOR
HORACE SLUGHORN WAS A GOOD SLYTHERIN
CEDRIC DIGGORY WAS A BRAVE HUFFLEPUFF
GILDEROY LOCKHART WAS A STUPID RAVENCLAW

SO SHUT THE FUCK UP

becnoir:

good heavens

just look at the time

theladyserket:

omfg ok so my phone has a voice control thing and i was testing it out, and i save all my friends numbers under character names so i tried calling my friend who i’ve saved under the name ‘tony stark’ and i said ‘call tony stark’ and it fUCKING STARTED CALLING ‘STARK INDUSTRIES’ IN AMERICA GUYS I THINK I JUST TRIED TO CALL IRON MAN

egberts:

sodamist:

egberts:

i think my cat is allergic to cats

That sounds pretty
Catastrophic

i hope you get arrested for that

skittlesndrpepper:

craigmothertucker:

so my 16 year old brother made himself a balloon son and kept a photo album of their day together here it is

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you my boyfriend and his outstanding level of maturity.